Thursday, April 21, 2005

Adieu my love

I've been sick the past few weeks - the common sipon and really bad cough which started, well, normally. I've never been this sick for such a long while. Its hard! Hard on the body, I couldn't think straight, I was always feeling tired and sleepy. Hard on the pocket too. Damn, the medicines these days are horribly expensive.

Anyhoo, one good thing came out of this sickness... I've quit smoking! After almost 8 years of smoking (minus 8 months of quitting in 2001), I've quit again. Its already been about a month and half and I think I might be successful in finally kicking the habit. There are moments of weakness though... like when I went out last Saturday, I was dying to have a smoke. But instead of lighting one stick, just took a puff from my friend's cig.

It ain't easy to quit when its something you've done for so long, for too long. Smoking has been my companion when I needed to think, when I was scrambling for words and ideas for my thesis. Smoking has been my way of resting from work, for at least 10 minutes. Smoking has kept me awake on the nights I had to stay late at work. Smoking has been with me to witness beautiful sunsets, great drinks and splendid conversations. Smoking has been there when I'm sad, bitchy, happy or drunk or in love.

Come to think of it, smoking has been the longest relationship I've had! Longer than the 5-year-on-&-off-again relationship with the love of my life. Now, that's taking it so far.... but I'm sure some of you know what I mean.

So, with a bit of sadness, I bid adieu to the one who I'll always remember fondly, smoking. I'm never going to be the same, but I am going to better and healthier without you.