Sunday, January 23, 2005

React ka dyan?!

I guess the reason I like Andres Bonifacio better is because he was known more for being the reactionary leader, rather than being the thinker or planner. He was true to himself really, things were not going right, so he needed to do something about it. People are like that. Just like in science (was that physics? hehe), for every action there is a reaction.

I was raised to say something, anything really, when I had an idea. Being an only child for 11 years, my parents raised me more like their friend than their kid, so I was involved in every discussion there was. That trait I was able to bring to school, college and work.

Just last December, I moved desks. I am now sitting with my fellow managers, Solty, Michelle and Jan. All four of us are good friends, and we work really well together since we always respect what the other does. So moving deaks was a delight really, easier to discuss things since we are literally an arm's length away from each other.

But most important is that I learn things from them. I hope they learn things from me too, like, ummm.... stuff, you know..... =)

Solty is the mother-hen, she's so organized and doesn't seem to complain much. Michelle doesn't react much, that's what I truly admire about her. Jan is..... THE ROCK! She's the epitome of editing. hehehe.

I, on the other hand, react to every action, reaction, counter-reaction. Walking time bomb. I talked to Kai, my boss, about that. I said I wanted to be more in control of my reactions. I needed to, basically, learn to not react. In other words, be "deadma".

Ewww. Its hard pala not to react. As in. I mean, I've been stressed out the whole month and the other day, on a particularly stressful day, I had a very difficult contact on the phone for 30 mins. She was so rude, I was tempted not to do process her deals... but of course, I can't do that. After the call, if that was just about 2 months ago, I'd be cursing her, grumpy and crying. But with all my might, I controlled my reaction. I still cursed her, only for a bit though. Almost cried. Generally an A-ok reaction. Hay. First test.

I am sure that I'd have more tests. But I hope the resolve to "not react" won't disappear. I'm mature, I'm woman. I can deadma you for all I care. Oh yeah!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

In the eye of the storm

"I can handle anything that life throws at me. I may not be able to handle it well, or correctly, or gracefully, or with finesse, or expediently, but I will handle it."

Monday, January 17, 2005

4 dates in a day

I had a busy Saturday. Four dates lined up in just one day. Imagine? First, I met up with my cousin Ate Y before lunch. She had coffee and we updated each other on what's been happening. I haven't seen her for two weeks.

And then I had lunch with friend M, at a fav place. It was good lunch, with lots of chika and tsismis from the table behind us. Apparently, the girl had a boyfriend other than the guy she was with. Juicy, huh? Heard her talking to her boyfriend on the phone while she was waiting for the guy she was on a date with. Well.

Anyhoo, then I met up with cousin K and we went to a saloon to get our eyelashes permed. Its so cute! We're so pretty! =) K's boyfriend C was just waiting the whole time. The last time I had a my eyelashes permed was about a year and a half ago and it only took about an hour. Last Saturday, it lasted for about 2 hours. Wonder if I've grown more eyelashes.

To cap the day off, I met friend K to help her shop for our HK trip in Feb. After about a dozen shops, 6 sweaters, 1 pair of pants and a super fab dress, we called it a day.

I liked my Saturday dates. They're so much fun and well, girlie. But I also miss the old school date, with a guy or a boyfriend. For now though, I'm ok with my Saturday dates. Actually am looking forward to more of those.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Second wind

The past few days have been terribly busy to say the least. I never remembered having been this busy in January. Anyhow, so I've been staying late in the office. Grouchy and grumbling normally but funny and sarcastic mostly. I'd be up and perky at 4pm til about 8pm. Then I'd be a walking zombie from 8pm to about 10pm. And then I'd be on second wind after 10. I'd be more alert, ideas keep propping up and I'd be totally focused. Its like I've been given a new perspective at things.

I wish every experience has second wind. You know, like falling in love again after several guys and numerous heartaches. Or having a new crush after 10 years of being with just one person. Or having free use of both hands after 7 days of bandage. Or getting a foot spa at the end of a day-long walkathon. Or finally shedding the baby fat when you're 27.

Gosh, how I long for a second wind! Especially in relationships. Oh well. Don't mind my ramblings, its caffeine enduced and sleep deprived. As an officemate would say, Ta!

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Big girl moment

Last wednesday was nothing but an ordinary day, on an extremely busy week, or so I thought. Got up at 7:30 am and went into the shower. I was mentally doing a checklist of the things that I had to finish that day while I was soaping up, then wham! The next thing I knew, I was lying flat on the bathroom floor! I slipped, and hit my head on the wall and my whole upper right side torso was in pain. Urg. I wanted to cry, big time. But I got up instead, showered off the soap and shampoo. Got out of the bathroom, checked myself on the mirror for any cuts or blood. Good thing, I didn't find any blood. Though my wrist and knee had huge bumps.

As if on autopilot, I got dressed very slowly and got out of the flat, hailed a taxi and told the driver to bring me to the emergency room of Makati Med. In the cab, called my boss to tell her I was going to be late for work. Being the kind soul that she is, she asked if I was ok and if I had any company and if I wanted/needed company. Right then and there, I wanted to cry naturally because there was someone so sympathetic on the other line. Before the on-set of any tears, I stopped myself, told her I was in pain but ok and was alone. And told her I'd let her know whatever happens. Then I called an analyst to tell him I was in the emergency room. Again, he was very sympathetic.

Then lastly called my mom. I really didn't want to coz I didn't want to cause her any unnecessary worry. But then I realized that if ever I had something broken, she'd have to know so I called her. I never call my mom in the mornings, so when she picked up the phone, she was a bit surprised. When I told her what happened, as expected, she was half hysterical on the other line. Oh well, too much to ask for her not too worry. I assured her I was fine, I just needed to go to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken.

When I got the hospital, the doctors, the nurses and the xray technicians were very good. After the 4 x-rays they told me that nothing was broken, though I sprained my wrist and they put in a bandage that I had to wear for 7 days. Arg. But at least, I was fine.

I just told this very good friend yesterday through text about what happened. I didn't want people to worry and to feel sorry for me. I never am one to ask for help. She said I should've told her earlier, she couldn't have been with me physically but she would've been there spiritually. But I needed that big girl moment. I needed to know that I can take care of myself, that I wouldn't break down when in a difficult situation.

She did say something that hit me and I quote : "Sometimes it bothers me when I need someone (of my choice) to accompany me and I feel di pwede or di kaya. Specially when I know I always try to be available for others in such time". Damn. Too much for a big girl moment.