Saturday, August 16, 2014

Test of friendship

So my son's been confined at the hospital since this Wednesday.  Obviously, had to take days off from school and work. It's just me, hubby D and son K here in Laguna. Both D and I are not locals in Luzon, so we don't have family but we've lived here for more than 15 years. Those 15 years, we're able to cultivate friendships.  But some friendships are just not on the level that I thought they were. 

In the past, when I was hospitalized due to pregnancy (had lots of pre-term labor), no one from this specific set of friends visited. Even when I gave birth, only one from the group came by.  I usually get affected by this, that D started to distance himself from them, to shield me from this disappointment, he confirms recently.  

I wonder why they wouldn't take time to visit me when I would always visit them or their kids/husbands are hospitalized.  In these instances that I would take the time to visit them, D be so surprised why I would even bother. When they couldn't be bothered.  I thought and believe that even if they don't think much of our friendship, I do and I care enough. I give without expecting nothing in return.

Perhaps it's also due to how we were brought up. I grew up visiting family, relatives and friends who are sick. My Mom would know who was in the hospital, even back in the pre-FB days and would schedule a visit to each one and bring food.

Whatever it is, it's become a great struggle for me to overcome. I'm more heart broken than angry though. I hate being like this pa naman coz I find it harder to get over a broken heart than anger.  If I'm angry, I just make it a point to communicate it and I get over it. If I'm broken hearted, I retreat into myself and I avoid the other party with all my might. I always told others to take care of their hearts, I should have listened to my own advice. I should start guarding my heart.

Not that we didn't have visitors. We did, my super maasahan friend from college came by. Mommy friends from my K's school. And a couple of D's friends came by as well. One true test of friendship is showing up when your friend is in need. No show means not true friends, right? I shouldn't forget this.