Sunday, January 09, 2005

Big girl moment

Last wednesday was nothing but an ordinary day, on an extremely busy week, or so I thought. Got up at 7:30 am and went into the shower. I was mentally doing a checklist of the things that I had to finish that day while I was soaping up, then wham! The next thing I knew, I was lying flat on the bathroom floor! I slipped, and hit my head on the wall and my whole upper right side torso was in pain. Urg. I wanted to cry, big time. But I got up instead, showered off the soap and shampoo. Got out of the bathroom, checked myself on the mirror for any cuts or blood. Good thing, I didn't find any blood. Though my wrist and knee had huge bumps.

As if on autopilot, I got dressed very slowly and got out of the flat, hailed a taxi and told the driver to bring me to the emergency room of Makati Med. In the cab, called my boss to tell her I was going to be late for work. Being the kind soul that she is, she asked if I was ok and if I had any company and if I wanted/needed company. Right then and there, I wanted to cry naturally because there was someone so sympathetic on the other line. Before the on-set of any tears, I stopped myself, told her I was in pain but ok and was alone. And told her I'd let her know whatever happens. Then I called an analyst to tell him I was in the emergency room. Again, he was very sympathetic.

Then lastly called my mom. I really didn't want to coz I didn't want to cause her any unnecessary worry. But then I realized that if ever I had something broken, she'd have to know so I called her. I never call my mom in the mornings, so when she picked up the phone, she was a bit surprised. When I told her what happened, as expected, she was half hysterical on the other line. Oh well, too much to ask for her not too worry. I assured her I was fine, I just needed to go to the hospital to make sure nothing was broken.

When I got the hospital, the doctors, the nurses and the xray technicians were very good. After the 4 x-rays they told me that nothing was broken, though I sprained my wrist and they put in a bandage that I had to wear for 7 days. Arg. But at least, I was fine.

I just told this very good friend yesterday through text about what happened. I didn't want people to worry and to feel sorry for me. I never am one to ask for help. She said I should've told her earlier, she couldn't have been with me physically but she would've been there spiritually. But I needed that big girl moment. I needed to know that I can take care of myself, that I wouldn't break down when in a difficult situation.

She did say something that hit me and I quote : "Sometimes it bothers me when I need someone (of my choice) to accompany me and I feel di pwede or di kaya. Specially when I know I always try to be available for others in such time". Damn. Too much for a big girl moment.

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