Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Going first

Everyone has talked about Francis M and how he young he has passed on. I have this theory that the good ones always go first. My favorite Uncle went first. My Mom's best friends went first. My other funny Uncle went first. My nice, smart cousin went first. And now Francis M.

I was in first year high school when Mga Kababayan became a mega-hit. All school programs had Mga Kababayan in their list. I had a classmate who worshipped Francis M, he started calling himself NOB and seriously considered being a rapper. Francis M was a major part of my teenage life.

A week ago, I felt a lump on breast. I got scared, who wouldn't be, right? I waited for a week to see if it'll go away. Coz I know sometimes there are just lumps who disappear after a menstrual period. Come last Saturday, the lump was still there. So off I went to see my OB Gyne. She felt it right away. It's moving, so that's a good sign she said. But I would still need to have an ultrasound next week, 10 days after my period. My doc assured that there's nothing to be worried about...

The speaker at our office's International Women Day forum on Breast Cancer yesterday said that not all lumps are cancerous. And Breast Cancer is treatable. We don't have any family of Breast Cancer too, so it's less risky for me.

I still need to wait for another week to get my ultrasound..It's the waiting game that's killing me slowly. The dread of the unknown. My own mortality is staring me in the face. It could be nothing, I know as God is a great provider and healer. But going through such uncertainly is excruciating. Sometimes I wish it's March 16th so I'll know. One thing's for sure though, I'm not nice so I'm not going first... hehe

Please pray for me.


Kaith said...

oh, im now worried as well. i must agree that our own worries and concerns would get us in trouble more than the illness itself. but i know ul be fine. ul be in my prayers. ayaw lang kaguol karon. hehe.

Girlash said...

Thanks Kaith for including me in your prayers, super appreciate it. As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going :)