Not a millionaire

I never wanted to become a millionaire when I was a kid.  But I've always wanted a comfortable life, for me and for my loved ones.  A life where I could send my kid to the best school I can afford.  Take vacations when there's time for it, to see and experience the world.  To be able to afford celebrations when there's something to celebrate.  To have a comfortable house we all could fit in and call a home.  To have healthy food on the table.  To be able to work because we want to, not because we need to.  To quit a job because we don't enjoy it anymore, without worrying about how to pay the bills.

I never craved for wealth, as much as others I know do.  I wished though that money is easy to earn and always more than enough to pay bills and spend on retirement.  But sadly, there are days when it's just too difficult to get up, dress up and get to work.  When it's so much of a hassle to get on that tricycle, van or taxi to go to work.  When work load is overwhelmingly piling up.  And really, just hard. 

But then you do, you have to.  The minute you hear your son say "Good Morning", and you know that you want to give him the best of what you can give and send him to the best school you can afford.  The second you see your husband, who you want to grow old with and spend many happy, long vacations with.  You get up.  Because you love them. 

And so off we go to work.

Happy thoughts

The past 2 days an Aunt and a cousin have been driving me crazy. I didn't want to dwell on the issue, a rather unproductive one, so I wanted to keep my silence. But they are such buggers. It's rather been difficult and frustrating for the most part. Although now, I'm totally decided not to say anything anymore. I even deleted their numbers and names from my contact lists. Such a release.

This morning, I missed my bus. So I was forced to travel an additional 30 minutes to catch my ride to Makati. I would have been grumpy, but I was thankful that at least, I had a job which makes me happy and it doesn't make me idle. At all.

Anyway. As they say, happiness is a decision and I'm aiming for that. Happy thoughts for today:

1. A new belt. Well, am still planning on getting one. But the thought of buying one excites me!
2. New friends :) I have finally made friends with the other Moms at my son's school.
3. An old favorite friend resurfacing. She disappeared for a while, but now she's back with a vengance! haha
4. The little one healthy and virus free :D
5. Taebo session tomorrow
6. My upcoming birthday
7. A little girl on the other bus waving to me :)
8. Facebook updates from friends
9. A private joke shared with the hubs :D
10. Finally, tomorrow's Friday!

What are your happy thoughts today?

Work stress overload

The past weeks has been extremely stressful at work. I've been called a few not nice adjectives. Deserved or undeserved, I was affected to the deepest level. I guess it's just hard to live up to very high expectations. All I can do is try my best.

It's hard when one aspect of life is difficult. Something just stops functioning. I was suddenly consumed with a remark made. It was probably flippant on his part, so I didn't want to dwell on it. But I was so affected, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was on automatic replay in my head, like a song from my Ipod. Only I wasn't hearing melodies.

I think less of it now. He did try to make amends. My friend said that knowing me, that remark just will challenge me. Perhaps she's right. I am slightly challenged, although I'm more cautious now. That and guarded.

At least it's Friday. Work rests. Weekend is a happy respite. TGIF everyone!

Working while facing the rain

I was working from home today. Before when we didn't have a router, I work from our computer room where my PC was facing the wall. Thank God for routers, I'm able to work anywhere in our (little) house.

So today, I worked from our bedroom, beside my little one. I also worked from our dining table, which faces a window. And since it was raining, I was working facing the rain. It is such a great respite from facing the wall, from work itself, and from the summer heat as well.

Well, thank God for summer rains :)

Signs of the times

No coffee and tissue paper in the office pantry.

Not a lot of people buying stuff at the other building's tiangge.

A lot more people bringing in baon/food for lunch at the office.

No one goes out for lunch anymore. Nor dinner.

No more daily Starbucks coffee, but more Nescafe.

No more new summer handbag for me... I'd have to re-use my old summer handbag.

No annual summer outing arranged by the office...

And for the first time 10 in ten years, I got the lowest merit increase this year.

I'm not complaining though, at least there is still work. In the scheme of things, we are still blessed.

We'll just have to pray for others and their families who lost work and can't find any new job for now.

When it gets this low, there's really no way to o but up. We need to believe that.

To be remembered

We were at this annual awarding ceremony in Hong Kong middle of February. It was mainly for our clients, for firms who did the best deals in 2008. I didn’t particularly like going this year coz I had an old dress, which I already wore to that same event 5 years ago. I also didn’t know what to do with my hair. It was just all over the place, all dry and I had a few white hair sticking out. I seriously needed to get to a salon for a quick hair treatment or color, but I didn’t have time because of my son’s 2 parties. And it was too expensive, my hubs and I vowed to seriously start saving.

But I had to go, my boss fought tooth and nail for me and M, another colleague, to go. So off we went. Standing next to my friend M, I felt all crumpled and old inside. She was wearing this nice new dress, and her hair was put up and looked wonderful. I felt so out of place that I didn’t even take a picture. Totally blah. And if you know me, you won’t totally believe that I was thinking and feeling bad of how I look. Not that I’m super vain, but I just never really cared much about what people thought of me. As long as I feel good about myself, I couldn’t care less about what others thought.

Anyway, that was until our tablemates talked to us. This sales guy, who M and I both met last year for a quick training, remembered me specifically. He somehow totally forgot about M. And then I saw our other colleagues, who really made it a point to come by our table and give us the European beso J You know, the both cheeks beso? That kind. So I was only too happy to mingle again and say hi to my contacts who where there. We also spoke to our old boss, and she’s a great lady, and she commended who good we looked. I only had 30 minutes sleep the night before, but she it didn’t show.

So I got my groove back that night. Thanks to over flowing red wine, I suppose. J It’s nice to be remembered, to be thought highly of, to be missed. It gave me the needed boost to reconnect old ties and make new ones.