Where is home?

The little boy with his Lolo - playing with Ada, my parents' black lab

I went home to Cagayan de Oro last weekend and came back with my Mama.  She stayed with us for 5 days.  It felt good to have my Mama here, we talked non-stop for days.  I brought her to church.  She went with me when I picked up my little boy and my hubby.  She went with us to shop for grocery, ate dinner somewhere and we watched TV together.

Both hubby and I are from Cagayan de Oro.  We're both strangers here in Laguna.  I came to Manila when I studied in UP, back in 1994.  So I've been here in Luzon for 18 years.  My hubby came here after he graduated from Engineering school in 1998, so he's been here for 14 years.  But we always consider Cagayan de Oro as home.  When we plan to go "home" for a vacation, we mean Cagayan de Oro.  In fact, we do plan to go "home" when we're retired.

Lately whenever we (my hubby, I and our little tyke) go home or have family come visit, I've always wondered what it would be like to move back to Cagayan de Oro and be near family.  Be with people who have known you since you were a kid.  Be with people you can just call out to whenever you need something.  What would it be like?  Would it be so comfortable?  Would being with and in the familiar, be relaxing?


I so envy those who have their families within driving distance.  I also want to be able to just drive to my parents' house, and find them home.  I so want to call my sisters, and we could go to the mall or get frozen yogurt.  I so want to text my cousins to meet up for coffee or tea.  I'd so like to see my son so excited for weekends, so he can swim non-stop with his cousins while my hubby bonds with his brothers, and I catch-up with my sisters-in-law.  I'd so like to go grocery shopping with my Papa, coz he buys the biggest can of milk haha

But we can't.  They're there and we're here.  We make do with a few days a year of being together, like how families should be.  And we try to make the most of it.  We'd bunched up all the activities - talking, eating, swimming, playing, drinking, and yes, sometimes, arguing - in a few days a year.

After we dropped off Mama at the airport earlier, I still wonder.  And I guess I'll always wonder, what would it be like if we all moved back to Cagayan de Oro?

Happy kind of change

One early Sunday with my boys

Last Sunday, I went to the mall. Alone.  To gather my thoughts and also do a bit of shopping.  My Mom gave me an advance birthday gift you see, so I had money to burn LOL 

I wanted to spend the whole day, well, until about 6pm at the mall.  But I found myself checking the hour every so often, which was no easy feat as I didn't have a watch or a cellphone on me.  Yes, it was the kind of day when I just wanted to disapper and disconnect from others.  Anyway, back to time checking.  I had to ask strangers for the time, or glance at other people's watches.  Some might have thought that I was a pick pocket for watches LOL

7 years ago, it would've been splendid to spend my whole Sunday at the mall.  I would've found so many things to do to entertain myself.  Sat down in a cafe, drank coffee and read a book.  Had a meal.  Watched a movie.  Went shopping or window shopping.  Met up with friends.

But now, I just keep thinking, how lonely it was in the mall.  I keep noticing parents with their kids in tow.  Specially parents with toddlers/pre-schoolers.  I can see the parents' frustration at times and stress too.  And I also see how happy they are to spend the day with their kids and husbands/wives.

I had to go home as fast as I could... to be with my own family, my own pre-schooler and own hubby.  Life has changed.  It's a happy kind of change.  It's a change that fills up my heart with warmth.

Loving the long weekend

I started the weekend on a Friday. Worked from home. TBH though, it was more work from the road (sssshhhhh! don't tell my boss though hehe). My mother sent us a couple of boxes Lanzones from Cagayan de Oro and I had to pick it up from the airport. There was heavy downpour in the afternoon, hence the delivery was so late. For 3 and a half hours.

Anyway, I hurried home to attend a birthday party of a friend's son. The little one was so happy coz he had a lot of playmates. He was the youngest boy and I was afraid he'd get bullied, but was so proud to see him assert himself. When they were playing basketball and he was pushed, he told his playmate, who was 2 years older, "Don't push me! Say sorry!". When I heard that, I knew he can take care of himself.

Saturday was spent playing badminton the whole morning with hubs and a couple of his office mates. And then we met up with a prospective architect (yes, finally decided to build that house, hopefully in January! Wish us luck!) and just hang out. And did a lot of FarmVille hehe

Sunday went to the palengke for the weekly food budget. Dropped by the nearby weekend flea market. Waited for the Marquez vs Mayweather game on tv. Uploaded pictures on facebook. FarmVille again (though it's not working now huhuhu!). DVD marathon(Hangover, Fast and the Furios 4, The Management, Ice Age 3 and about 5 more DVDs). Helped the little one with his homework. Heard mass in the afternoon. And had barbeque dinner at the newly opened Reyes Barbeque at Nuvali. Chatted with my Papa and requested for my birthday gift :D. Played lots with the little and now blogging at 12am. The hubs is also still up and blogging too.

It's a fun filled weekend and we have an extra day tomorrow! I just loooove it :) Tomorrow would be swimming at our club house so we're all praying for a sunny day. Finish the little boy's homework. Get a mirror hopefully, as we don't have a big mirror. Taebo at 7 :)

Long weekends are such a blessing.... could we have more?

Boracay on a budget

Travelling is something my family enjoys. We don't have a lot of budget for our travels, so we always look out for cheap fares, clean hotels and good food. Travelling with a kid also has it's limits. When as a couple, we could so easily roam and get familiar with a place in 2 days, we have to consider our son's schedule. He naps in the afternoon and can't walk for long. He gets picky with unfamiliar food, so dining should be something he likes...not all the time what we like.

Last April, Cebu Pacific had their discounted fares promo. Travel period is between June to October, I think. Anyway, we were torn between going home to Cagayan de Oro or going somewhere else. The hubs hasn't been to Boracay, so I thought Boracay it is then. I called their reservation but it was a book and buy promo and by rule, I don't transact business over the phone or online. Specially tickets. So I went to their ticketing office in Carlos Palanca, Makati. And got 3 round trip tickets to Boracay for PhP 3,000! :) What a bargain, right? Our trip was scheduled for Aug 17 to 21. And turned out that Aug
21st was a holiday :) August is a rainy month in our beautiful islands, so I prayed long and hard for a sunny weather.

I searched resorts online. Got a deal with the Orchid Resort. It was very cheap, PhP1,080 per night. So I booked for 4 nights. It was on Station 3 and one had to walk along an alley for about 5 minutes to get there. The resort was fine, our room was clean but it wasn't well lit, and mosquitoes were abundant too. The location wasn't working for us, having a kid to bring around. On the first night, our son had fever. We had problems finding dinner too.

The next day, while we were just hanging at the beach, I went to Villa Camilla to check if they had affordable rooms. Our budget is less than 2k. Since it was off peak, they had a lot of vacancy. The receptionist gave me a brochure, but the cheapest room they had for PhP2,300. But she gave me a great deal, for a Deluxe room, with a mini sala, she'll give it to me for PhP1,500! I was elated! We were definitely transferring the very next day.

When we did, it was marvelous. Villa Camilla is beach front, so we'd just change into our swim clothes, walk less than a minute to reach the beach and swim the whole morning. The room was clean and very spacious, the bathroom was clean too. We also had a big tv and a ref. Very important when you have kids with you.

Dining wise, we were limited. So we frequented Yellow Cab, Shakeys, Andoks. On our last night, I was insistent on trying out the buffet by the beach. So we checked the food, they had great selection and the little boy actually wanted to eat there. Kids below 7, I think, are free. We ended up paying for just 2 persons, for PhP500, for a buffet! Neat no?



Overall, it was a very restful and fun trip. Days just passed us by, we enjoyed the beach and the experience. We savored spending time with each other, talking, playing, resting. The weather was perfect beach weather, it didn't seem like August at all. God was and still is so good to us.

It's worth travelling on the off peak season. You'll get cheap flights, hotels and food. Also, the beach was deserted. We didn't have to go to the other secluded beaches around the area since we had the whole White Beach to ourselves :)

Travelling Freely

We travelled by air, by land and by the sea...





To get to place where hemit crabs roam freely.



To a place where you can write letters on the sand.



To a place where you eat pancakes for breakfast by the beach.



To a place where life revolves around the sea, sand and sun.



To a place where a day ends in gorgeous orange.

Discipline at our home

My husband and I don’t believe in corporal punishment. When I was still pregnant, we have agreed that we won’t hit or spank our child to displine. I never had experienced spanking from my Dad. I did though from my Mama, as she was the main disciplinarian in our family. But after every bout of spanking, I was more resentful of her and not really sorry of what I have done wrong. So I was resolved not to spank or hit my child when I become a mother.

I’m not a master of discipline nor do I claim to be, so this shouldn’t be taken as a rule. And this post is not to critize parents who use corporal punishment to discipline their kids. That’s their choice. And mine is to discipline differently.

When the little boy was younger, it was easy to discipline him. He couldn’t do much and didn’t speak back. Now that he’s 3, quite active and can speak his mind, disciplining becomes difficult. I don’t want to bring up a spoiled brat into the world, even when it’s so easy to do that specially when he’s our only child.

Before we go out or go somewhere, we talk to him and agree that he should listen to Mommy and Daddy. He needs to know that we are ensuring this to make sure that he doesn’t hurt himself or others. When he insists on buying something he wants when we are out, and that toy is not part of our plan, and start to go into a tantrum, we don’t feed on his tantrum. He ignore him and move on to a different part of the store. There’s a chance that he still will throw a tantrum, but more often than not, he will follow us and in a few minutes forget about the toy. Children do have sort attention span :)

This one time we were doing the grocery, and he was running around without looking, he was hit by a cart. We discipline him at home. When he was younger, his only form of discipline is a time out where he is kept inside a room. One minute for every age of the child. Now that’s he’s older, he has two options. The time out and facing the wall. Every after a punishment though, it is important that it is explained to him why he was punished. It is also important that the parent who saw the problem should be the one to do the disciplining, so the child doesn’t get confused.

We still have a long way to go. And we’re taking it a day at a time. We are focused on the goal to bring up a responsible, happy child and not loose our sense along the way :)

When 3-year olds watch a movie

Last night, we brought the little to watch Ice Age 3 at a theather. It was his 2nd time to watch in a cinema, the first was mother's day last year and we watched Iron Man. He wasn't too aware yet of what was happening then, so he wasn't excited. This time though, he's already fully aware of his sorroundings and that he's going to SM so he was bouncing off the walls with so much anticipation hehe!

We got popcorn and juice for snacks and settled down on our seats. For 10 minutes. Then he began rocking his seat, he seemed to enjoy that it can be folded. He sat with me for awhile. Sat with his dad too. Leaned on the seat in front of us, good thing no one sat there. Put up his feet on the head rest in front of my seat. Said he was going to "wiwi" twice, but didn't. That was the whole Ice Age 3 :)

But that's all good. After the movie, he did say he had fun and he wants to watch a movie again at the cinema. And we spent time as a family :)

Loving silently

That's a classic picture of my parents, my Mama always making lambing while my Papa smokes and smiles :) They married young, young enough to receive the ire of my Mama's sisters. Papa comes from a big, working class family. Mama comes from a smaller, landed family. The Princess and the Pauper. But they made it work.

This is really a father's day post. Albeit delayed, still worth writing. My Papa's not the communicative, demostrative type. He rarely talks. Maybe also to balance out my Mama's noise. God is so smart! haha

I was a Daddy's girl eversince I could remember. In my pictures when I was younger, I would always be near my Papa. He was so my hero. My first memory of him was him telling me a bedtime story while Mama was away at work. It was exactly the same story every night, The Monkey & The Turtle. And then he left to work abroad when I was 5. An OFW. Years later, Mama said the main reason he left was so he could provide for my future well. The trigger? We were hearing mass and there was a balloon vendor and I was asking him to buy me one and he had only enough money for our fare and can't afford a balloon. Too emo? :P

All of us sisters didn't experience spanking from Papa. He doesn't believe in that. Which is why I also don't believe in spanking my child.

I never really minded that Papa's away. Until I reached high school. Being a teenager, I was full of angst and blamed every problem I had on Papa being away. I resented him being away too much that I stopped talking to him and didn't follow his orders. He said not to have a boyfriend until I turn 18, so I had a boyfriend when I was 15. He said I'm not allowed to sleep overnight at friends' houses, so I slept out a lot. He said I'm not allowed to go out dancing, so I did. I was a pain. I knew I hurt my Papa and I actually wanted to do that.

I didn't know what changed after graduating from high school. But something just did. I then understood what it was like for him to be away all the time. On my first semester in college, he was working in Nigeria and got sick of Malaria. I was at my Aunt's place when I learned he was home and I got so scared. My Papa was invinsible, he never got sick, not even flu. And then he had Malaria? On top of that, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to finish school. My Aunt advised me to pray, God will provide. And indeed, God did. Papa recovered and was able to find a better paying job at a nicer place.

Seeing a father and daughter having a close relationship or in a light loving moment never fails to affect me. Sadly, I don't have that much with Papa. But I do love him dearly and I know that he loves me. He never says anything of course but I know he does. I feel that he does.

Vacation quotes

• We finally had a vacation last week of May. My parents and sisters came to visit for a whole week. The Manila Ocean Park was our first stop, then we went to see Mall of Asia and then off to Baguio for about 3 days, we spent the Hubs' birthday there. We then stayed in a Makati hotel for 3 days, 2 nights.
  
  It was always great to spend time with family. We talked about so many things. And came to know the following:
  
• My second sister gets very cranky when she's hungry! haha
• 
  

• My son does really have a great memory! He can remember road signs and can now definitely read :)

• My Mom is getting old. But she likes to take vacations still, while she still can move about


• My youngest sister can be spoiled but she can be kind too. And she adores my son to bits.


• My hubs didn't grow up to have his family spend time like we do... and he's slowly liking the way we bond

and oh, got a few quotes from our mini vacation:

• My son said this while spelling the wrapper of my crackers: "R-E-B-I-S-C-O, crackers!" Nice try little bugoy :D


• We were discussing Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston and why Brad Pitt choose Angelina. I turned to the hubs and asked him who he would pick. He said "Carina" (that's me) which he got a "Cheesy" from my sisters :P


• My youngest sister asked my other sister what do the people from Pampanga call themselves, to which my other sister without batting an eyelash answered "Pampangasians!"


• Again, my second sister said that the rice from a restaurant we just ate at was like "NPA rice"


• My son says this when he takes our picture "Look at me, smile!" quite like the grow up

I wish our vacation was longer. Hubs and I had to drag ourselves to work the following Tuesday, we actually had to take Monday off. Now we are back to reality, back to work. Until the next vacation in August :)

Mall rats, we are not

We're not a mall-going family. Which means we hardly visit the mall - for shopping, watching movies, eat out or doing grocery shopping. Not that we don't do any of those, we just don't do it in a mall. I do my shopping in shops around Makati or in Paseo de Sta Rosa. We watch movies in our own home, where we can pause the movie any time. We eat out at restaurants outside the mall, near our home or in Tagaytay. We do our groceries at the Rustan's Fresh.

We realized about a year ago that you can do all these things outside of the mall. So we shifted our minds and behavior, and we continue doing so. That decision wasn't born out of anything dramatic, we just don't like the mall crowd resulting in long lines, period. And hubs and I got tired of malls, when we were both single, we were practically camping out at malls (well, at least I was hehe).

We still go to malls once in a while. Maybe once a month or so. And when we do, the little one gets so excited. The other week, while we were on our way, he just suddenly blurted out "I'm so happy!". When asked why, he answered coz "We're going to SM!". Haha!

Easter slow down

It's almost 5pm and the little one is still taking his siesta. We're yaya and maid-less since yesterday, so a lot of bonding time with my boys.... and lots of work for me too. :D

We initially planned to go swimming today, after our 10am Sunday mass. After the mass, which we heard from lawn of the church, amidst the grass, the trees and the wind, we had lunch at Mocha Blends. The food was fine, but a bit pricey considering it was just the 3 of us. We headed home, planning to just take a short nap and then hopefully take a dip at the pool club house afterwards.

At home, it was too hot not to turn on the aircon. I figured we didn't spend a dime this Holy Week, having not gone on an out of town trip, so aircon is a justifiable expense hehehe Right.

This is a different way of spending the Holy Week. When I was single, I'd be dying if I don't spend the Holy Week at the beach. Be it at home in Cagayan de Oro, in Camiguin, in Medina, in Puerto Galera, in Boracay, in Zambales, in Subic. That was the Holy Week for me. Sea, sand, sun. With a drink in hand, always with a drink in hand :) Mix alcohol with the beach, what do you get? LOL

I remember that Rico Yan died on a Holy Week, I was vacationing with my family in Camiguin then. That Easter Sunday, we spent it at a hotel with my cousins. We were all swimming on the hotel's pool when Claudine Barretto was interviewed. My cousins were (I think still are! haha) chismis fanatics, so they all went up to the room to watch the interview. I also followed coz I was the only one left. While the interview was on going, the pool got deserted. Pool vs chismis? Chismis wins! LOL

When I was way younger, Holy Week in Salay, my Mom's hometown, meant praying and heading to church beginning Palm Sunday. Way of the Cross on Friday dawn. Then eating seafood galore. We'd have Biko or Suman. We should have been fasting but we'd have too many food at home. My Mom, I think, fears starvation LOL Sunday, I would be an angel at the Salubong. Been an angel til I was 13. Eeeewwwww. Haha! Easter means picnic at the beach, from sun-up to sun-down.

Our Easter now is spent differently. Just right now, I was writing memories of Easter of years ago, I got a bit nostalgic. Holy Week is very different when you're down in the provinces, or even just out of the city. It's spent differently here in Laguna, specially in our new, young community. It kinda feels like any other Sunday, so you need to get reminded that God has risen.

Happy Easter all!

Long weekends

Could mean many things and could make new things happen. It could mean doing things that you previously didn't have time to do. It could give you time to reconnect and rebond with your husband, your kid and your friends.

I do wish that we'd normally have 3-day long weekends. I wish that we'd always find time to see who our partner really is.

I did all my errands in 2 days. Bugged the maids enough, and got things done. I played a lot with my son, we spent every second we had. He's growing up so fast, he told me "When I grow up, I will play tennis, basketball" :) He's a big growing boy.

Tomorrow is going to be swimming day! And BBQ lunch. Not just any BBQ mind you, but CDO-recipe BBQ. I'm totally excited! :)